October '24 Edition

Rachel Miller
Oct 1, 2024
3 min read

"October is a symphony of permanence and change." – Bonaro W Overstreet

I've never met anyone who didn't love October. Maybe it's the way the world seems to ignite, with trees glowing in brilliant shades of golden yellow, burnt orange, and fiery reds. Or perhaps it's that instant burst of clarity you get after taking those first sips of crisp morning air. Whatever the reason, it seems the general consensus is that October is woven with magic.

As I sit here at my desk—chai latte in hand—I can't help but wonder: how is it that we can marvel at nature's ability to change so effortlessly, yet resist the inner changes we deeply desire in ourselves? We celebrate the falling leaves, shorter days, and chilly nights, but when it comes to our own inner shifts we freeze, hesitate, or pull back. If you're anything like me, this thought will send you down a rabbit hole of introspection and self-reflection. Words like resistance, ambivalence, and vulnerability come to mind, but what do they really mean and why do they have such a hold on us? Let's break it down together, and maybe, just maybe, we can lean into this season of transformation.

Let’s hop in a time machine and head back to the 1970s—imagine this: you’re running a study on smoking cessation. You’re watching some folks really struggle to quit, while others seem to just decide one day, “That’s it, I’m done,” and never pick up a cigarette again. This caught your attention. What’s going on here? Why can some people stop without a hitch, while others need all the support they can get?

That’s exactly what Prochaska and DiClemente were asking themselves too. They figured out that people quit smoking when they’re actually ready to quit. And boom—out of that realization came the Transtheoretical Model, or what we now call the Stages of Change Model. The idea? People don’t change their habits overnight. Change—especially when it comes to behaviors we’ve been doing for years—happens gradually. It’s more like a cycle we move through, not a quick flip of a switch. And just like that, a whole new way of understanding change was born!

Pro Tip: The Stages of Change can be applied to any behavior, we just used stress/anxiety as an example.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Because Love Shouldn't Hurt

Know the Stats

More than 16 million people in the United States experience intimate partner violence each year.
Intimate partner violence is most common among women aged 18 to 34.
Women with disabilities are 40% more likely to experience IPV than women without disabilities
Nearly half of all women and more than 2 in 5 men have experience IPV at some point in their lives

Debunk the Myths

"If it was that bad, they'd leave."
1. People stay for a lot of reasons. Maybe financial abuse is involved and they don't have the resources, maybe they're frightened for their safety and their children's safety, maybe the abuser has isolated their partner from family and friends leaving them with a diminished support.
"Domestic abuse always involves physical violence."
1. Nope. Abuse isn't always physical. Abuse is defined as an incident or patterns of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading, and violent behavior. This can be emotional/psychological, sexual, or financial.
"Women often lie about abuse."
1. False allegations about domestic abuse are extremely rare. In fact, nearly half (44%) of domestic violence cases go unreported.

Signs of Abuse

Name calling or demeaning comments
Love bombing, someone that seems too good to be true, or the relationship advancing very quickly
Prevents you from spending time with family or friends or from enjoying your hobbies
Damaging your credit, purposely not paying bills, or restricting your access to financial resources
Frequent texts or calls
Blaming you for their abusive behavior

Help is Available

Speak with Someone Today

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: A nonproft organization that provide real-time crisis intervention, information, and referral as well as on line resource. For 24/7 services call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit their website at https://www.thehotline.org/

The National Sexual Assault Hotline: A confidential, secure service that provides live help through sexual assault. For services call 1-800-656 HOPE (4673) or visit their website at https://rainn.org/

The Women's Law Organization: Provides legal advice and advocacy based on state statues. Visit their website https://www.womenslaw.org/